Kindergarten Valentines from the Trenches

Today the kids were making Valentine cards for their parents. At my table, during Group Time, they had to draw a picture of something Mom and Dad like to do together, and then write a greeting - like, "Happy Valentine's Day."

At any given time, there are about 6 kids during these open-ended activities sitting at my table. I instruct Jovante to draw a picture of mom and dad doing what they like to do together.
He draws mom and then he looks at me very annoyed and says, "Do I hafta draw them when they fighting? All they say is 'whatsup whatsup whatsup!"
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Erik is sitting next to Madelin and following my directions, drawing a nice picture of his parents holding hands. Madelin's parents are "roller skating." Erik asks if he can write his greeting in Spanish, since mom and dad don't speak English. I proceed to help him. Erik turns to Madelin and says, "I can write in Spanish."

Madelin keeps coloring and says, "I can't speak Spanish."

Erik doesn't miss a beat. "That's okay," he says, "You just have to keep practicing."
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Flower is drawing her parents working in the yard. She is trying to draw a shovel. She asks for guidance.

"What are they doing?" I ask."Cleaning up dog Sh**," she replies.

(I remind her there are NICER ways of saying this. Since she can't say "excrement" she settles on "Poop".)

About 20 minutes later she storms OUT of the bathroom up to my table. "Mrs. L.....there was POOOOP all over the toilet seat and I had to clean it up!"

"Kind of like your poor parents, huh Flower?" (I just couldn't resist.)
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Then there's Niya..the PERFECT child. She is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest little girl on the planet. She sets to work drawing diligently, her parents sitting on the couch. Mom wears socks and dad is barefoot. She carefully draws his toes. Then she decides it is too cold and adds socks.

"They like to watch T.V.," she explains.

Then she draws the television, complete with little details, like knobs and the DVD player. Then, she draws a picture inside the T.V. screen.

I look away long enough to check on the other kids and am horrified to look back at Niya's paper to see a body with a HEAD laying next to it. She is using a red crayon to depict the blood and gore.

She is coloring serenely, perfect pigtails swaying.
"They like to watch scary movies. This one has his head cut off."
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Franky is drawing a detailed scene of his whole family outside in the yard, playing with the dog.
"My mom and dad like to play with the dog in the morning."

"So this is what they like to do together? How nice," I say. He nods in agreement.

A little while later he says, "Well, actually ... my mom doesn't get up in the morning. She doesn't play with the dog."

"Oh. Well.. I thought your mom and dad played with the dog in the morning."

"My dad hates the dog. He don't play with the dog." Then he sighs. "Actually, I'm the only one who plays with the dog in the morning."
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Aracely is busily drawing away on the paper.

"What are your parents doing?" I ask... noticing that they both have HUGE baseball-mitt looking things on their hands.

Aracely smiles. "They're making COOKIES," she says sweetly. "Mommy makes them and Papi eats them."
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