Sunday, May 21, 2006


I had a week full of momentum. It started of high and I just kept going. The eating was under control and I was walking with the dogs. And then - like a balloon deflating, here comes Saturday morning and I feel myself getting lower and lower. Today I feel sick. Achy and awful. I know this is why I am down but the depression is in there somewhere, rooting around, looking for a toe-hold.

Does the medicine work? Why? Why UP and then down? Why down for weeks until I just want to weep in frustration? Hormones? What wicked concoction of metabolism, brain chemistry, and hormones makes me like this?

I am thirsty but can't get enough to satisfy. The heat is radiating up through my head and my scalp is hot. I want to read but the book is dragging me down. Her writing is so good that I relate - too much.

I need something cool.

Jackson and Osbaldo

Today, the kinders painted as a "may do" center over by the sink area in the classroom. All of the children love to paint so they are usually calm, quiet, and enthralled by the whole process. For some reason, Osbaldo Chavarin wanted to liven things up a bit. In the time it took me to refill some water cups, Osbaldo loaded his brush, wound up like a baseball pitcher, and flung paint from here to Palmdale. It splattered on the walls, the bulletin board, jackets, backpacks, paper, hair, and any other objects in the trajectory. He was chagrined to say the least - and I was too tired to do much more than shake my head and admonish him that painting of THAT sort was best done at HOME, in mom's LIVINGROOM, especially when she has new white carpet. Merri Lynn comes over to see what the commotion is about. "Osbaldo is being Jackson Pollack today, " I say, as the young artist stares at his shoes. Merri Lynn pauses. "I wonder what Jackson Pollack's kindergarten teacher said to him?"

"Hmmm...." I say, bending over to begin the clean up process. "She probably said something like, 'Jackson is being Osbaldo Chavarin today.' "

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Corkscrew Woes

About a year ago, Dan solved a Plethora of Problems by purchasing a new cork remover. And since the kitchen is HIS domain, he always opens the wine and he uses his handy dandy Dream Corkscrew Thing.

Now, sometimes I like to open a bottle of wine and have to do it if he isn't around. Well~ the contraption clearly doesn't like me.

Everytime I open a bottle, the faux cork remains seated. It won't get up. I cannot remove it no matter what I do. So I leave the faux cork ON the Dream Corkscrew Thing and Dan finds it and removes it and all is well. He never says anything and I don't complain. It is a good arrangement.

For Christmas, my sister's family bought for Dan a Most Excellent Top of the Line Corkscrew Remover - complete with a stand. This is because Dan is difficult to buy for - so he gets a lot of unusual kitchen gadgets. This Most Excellent Top of the Line Corkscrew Remover is apparently offended by the Dream Corkscrew Thing and so it remains hidden in the cupboard and is unused. It seems kind of silly to display it - and it doesn't fit the kitchen decor.

So a couple weeks ago I open a bottle of very nice Pino Grigio (on sale) and cannot remove the faux cork. Logic dictates that one would simply twist the faux cork in the opposite direction one twists the corkscrew, no? HA! The whole corkscrew twists neatly off the Dream Corkscrew Thing. It has a screw-type thing at the end of it and it screws neatly into the Dream Corkscrew Thing proper - therefore I am no better off than when I started to remove it. You can't yank it off or heave it off, or use pliers to remove it. I tried. Apparently, Dan never noticed or he didn't try to open a new bottle. So it remains on the Dream Corkscrew Thing, a permanent fixture, it seems.

I am an educated and logical person. I study the problem. Knives WILL cut the faux cork but this stuff is designed to seal wine until the next ice age, so... you aren't going to pull those folds apart. Nosirree Bob! (And HE was no help either!)

So, I get out and dust off the Most Excellent Top of the Line Cork Remover. I study it because it is MOST complicated. I manage to get everything locked into place and remove the faux cork! But, the way the thing is designed, there is no way in Hannah that I am going to get this faux cork off! You can't get a finger in there to twist. And are there instructions? OH HELL NO! Mr. Julia Child threw away the box!

So here I am with tin foil over the top of this nice bottle of Pino Grigio (on sale again) and TWO corkscrew removers with corks stuck in them. Dan is out of town - fishing. Which means the faux corks remain. What if he can't get them out either? What to do? Am I destined to have to buy a new cork remover for every bottle I ever open? Are these things made in a disposable version? And am I going to have to nurse ONE bottle of a good Pino Grigio (on sale) until he notices that his wife is a corkscrew spazz?


Friday, May 19, 2006

Our current theme for OCR and ELD is ocean. So, the kids have been learning a lot about sea life. They were fascinated by Sea Stars, which have the ability to grow a new arm if one is lost. In fact, a new arm can sprout a whole new Sea Star. This is neat stuff for Kinders!

One of our workshop activities today was a sea star craft - the kids cut out 5-armed sea stars and glued "suction tubes" to the edges to simulate a real sea star - which uses the tubes to hang on for dear life on the ocean floor. Our tubes happen to be macaroni and beads - very neat stuff for Kinders.

In order to properly affix the beads, the kids need glue. Do you know what one of the Kinder Mottos happens to be? YES!

More is better! This means if a 'little' glue is called for, MORE must be better! If a bit of glitter is required, MORE must be better! Same with sea stars. MORE glue is definitely better for affixing suction tubes. So - the sea star projects are completed and moved to a table for proper drying.

You KNOW what happened, right? YES! Many were stuck to the table. One yellow sea star was so thoroughly affixed I that I considered decoupaging it to the table's surface permanently. But alas..... I got it off but at great expense to one of the arms. I was annoyed when I pulled it free and the arm fell off. Seeing my consternation, Gianncarlo called over to me, "Don't worry, Mrs. Lengning. He'll grow a new one."

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The LowDawg Blog

So maybe this is the venue for posting all my stories. And my insatiable need to log my weight loss. Which is ongoing. We have the Exercise Roll Call on the Tnet board, but how detailed does everyone want to get? Sometimes it is just TMI - too MUCH information. Does anyone really CARE how much food I eat and how many sit-ups I've done?

How many times have I lost these same pounds? You would think they would get the message about now. I have been "virtuous" as Ann would say, for 5 days. "Five Days!" sounds like a headline weight-loss plan. "Lose 5 pounds in 5 days!" (Uh huh. The last time I lost 5 pounds in 5 days I gave birth.)

I am afraid to get on the scale and find that it hasn't moved since April 1. Yes, I probably gained weight after April 1 and THAT is the weight that might be coming off now. So how do I know? I want to get on that scale and find that I am UNDER 180 pounds. I was 184 pounds on April 1. So maybe I will get on the scale this weekend so the other shoe can finally drop. Not that I would would WEAR shoes on the scale. Only the doctor's office makes you do that - stupid skinny ass wenches that work there - they take great pleasure I am sure just telling us to "step on the scale" and make silly little eye rolls when we try to disrobe. (Clothes weight a LOT!)