Crippled Ant Theory~

Okay, I am not 100 percent sure of the efficacy of this method, but my sister swears by it and it makes logical sense to me.

Ants are terrific communicators. They leave scent trails and clean up after themselves, and manage to build entire colonies without spoken language. They also raise baby ants, bring food for the Queen Ant, and change trail directions when imediments get in the way. There is also a song about the ants going marching. Not many insects have songs about them. (La Cucaracha excepted.)

So - here is the theory. You select one of the ants for "maiming." You must be careful because ants are fragile and pinching off a leg or thorax with your fingernail MIGHT result in death. This does no good, since ants don't usually collect their dead. (They might. We aren't sure.)

The maimed ant hobbles back to the nest and leaves distress pheranomes along the way. The maimed one then collapses in the nest and the rest of the colony gathers around and demands an explanation. Who did this horrible thing? Why?

Meanwhile, other ants come streaming in, briefed by the distress scent and communicating that THIS PLACE is a BAD PLACE because look at "________!" He/she is MAIMED for life and will have to go on welfare (or get eaten).

The ants convene a council meeting, decide to change course, and leave the offending property.

You will then be ant-free.

My sister swears by this. (If it doesn't work, she gets a can of RAID, then calls her exterminator, who is on speed-dial.)

;-)K