Sunday, May 21, 2006

Momentum

I had a week full of momentum. It started of high and I just kept going. The eating was under control and I was walking with the dogs. And then - like a balloon deflating, here comes Saturday morning and I feel myself getting lower and lower. Today I feel sick. Achy and awful. I know this is why I am down but the depression is in there somewhere, rooting around, looking for a toe-hold.

Does the medicine work? Why? Why UP and then down? Why down for weeks until I just want to weep in frustration? Hormones? What wicked concoction of metabolism, brain chemistry, and hormones makes me like this?

I am thirsty but can't get enough to satisfy. The heat is radiating up through my head and my scalp is hot. I want to read but the book is dragging me down. Her writing is so good that I relate - too much.

I need something cool.

No comments: