Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hope for the Brown Dog?

Our long-haired dachshund, Seamus, never has headaches.

This is because, as the saying goes, you must have brains to have headaches. And since Seamus has never demonstrated any intellectual prowess, we don't think he has much in the cranial region.

This isn't to say we don't love him dearly. But this is a dog who will go in and out the doggie door, even if the French door right next to it is WIDE open. He tries to smother you with kisses - with chew bones, dog toys, and Meaty Bones in his mouth.

This is a dog who loves to hike but simply cannot go off-leash. He just doesn't understand that "off leash" means he may roam around a bit, but he must stay near ME. Augie and Duke have modeled this procedure for Seamus many times. He still takes off like a houng dog after a rabbit - especially if he sees a rabbit. And dachshunds ARE hound dogs.

It isn't that I haven't attempted to train him. I wait until he's a bit tired so I can get his attention and then let him off-leash and constantly praise him for staying on the trail. ("Good trail, Seamus! Good trail!")

If he goes into the bushes I call him back, taking care to keep my tone neutral. Most of the time he comes back and I praise him again ("Good trail, Seamus, Good trail!")

But when he is off-leash he acts possessed and eventually he takes off further and further away from me - until I having to run to stay caught up with him. This makes him run AWAY from me. I've never beaten this dog in his life, but he is certain that once I get a-hold of him after a chase UPHILL, I will pound on him. So he keeps running.

Augie is very good at finding Seamus and I suppose that he does his canine best to convince the brown dog to rejoin the pack. But I think Seamus speaks a different dialect.

Each morning, Seamus starts the Rancho Vista/Palmdale West Division of Canines Meeting. It is their morning meeting and apparently quite important because all the dogs participating seem to have a LOT to say. Sometimes Seamus starts this meeting too early and I have to call him back to bed. But once the minutes have been read and old business covered, Seamus is loathe to give up the podium to Daisy next door, who I am sure could run the meeting without him.

Seamus is a OneDog Alarm System - warding off attacks by trash trucks, mail carriers, UPS drivers, Mormon missionaries, neighborhood dog walkers, and neighors standing or conversing in their own yards. In fact, without even SEEING a neighbor or a dog walker, Seamus discerns them and barks. And barks. And barks. From the BACK of the house.

He doesn't respond to verbal commands to cease barking. I have read the dog trainer books by Uncle Mattie, Cesar's Way, by the Dog Whisperer, and looked up online dog training manuals. To no avail. None of these supposed experts has ever dealt with a dog like Seamus, I am sure. And to compound the cacophony, dachshunds are hard-wired to always, always, always have the last word. Even if it is a full minute AFTER the initial barking frenzy.

So, when the construction dude arrived today to dig big holes and cut pieces of concrete with very loud tools, Seamus went on alert. As if the sound of a jackhammer working on the patio isn't loud enough - Seamus must bark loudly and often to express his supreme concern. And to compound the problem, once Seamus actually SEES the construction dude, all he11 breaks loose, despite my attempts to calm him down and tell him this is a FRIEND not a FOE and this is GOOD what he is doing, very, very GOOD. Patio covers are GOOD for dogs in summer, very GOOD.

So I took Seamus to the chair and ordered him to stay there. Dan laughed and Seamus immediately tried to leave. I stood there and ordered him back. When he didn't comply, I picked him up and put him back on the chair. Then I praised him for staying.

I praised him a LOT. And he stayed.

And then he attempted to get down but one order from me to get back to the chair sent the low dog scuttling. He jumped up on the couch. I decided that wasn't a battle to fight, so I praised him again.

And... he went over the the chair and promptly flopped down. And he stayed!

I'm not sure - but maybe there's hope for Seamus and I can teach him commands.

I just don't look forward to hauling that chair up the Pacific Crest Trail.

;-)K

1 comment:

Paulie said...

My confusing look just before the ending became an "aha!" one as I read that last sentence. Great write up!