In Lieu of a Fiery and Sarcastic Email~

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am a reader from way back and come by it honestly. My nightstand always has a stack of books and you can generally find books, magazines, journals, and other material almost anyplace in my house.

Being enrolled in a doctorate program means lots of professional reading that takes a lot of cognitive energy. The whole point of being in school again is to learn, which just so happens to take place when you READ. Go figure, but I do know what I am talking about here.

So, in the mail last week I receive the Box o' Books from the university for my second class. I only recognize one of the titles and think the others are written by or contributed to by university staff. Since none of them appears particularly enticing, I eMailed the new instructor to ask where I should begin reading.

The first thing she did to tick me off is ignore my eMail for over a week. Maybe I am being sensitive but I think this is a bit rude.

But then she replied - today. Her two paragraphs have pissed me off to the height of pisstivity and it is all I can do, friends, to NOT fire off a nasty and sarcastic response.

She sent this "wagging finger" eMail that is just dripping with TONE. You know what I mean. It is the type of communication that makes you feel dressed down, castigated, disrespected, and patronized. I had flashbacks to grade school - when I was kicked out of my sixth grade class for daring to "read a book" (artfully hidden in the desk, I might add) instead of participating in the "discussion" the teacher wanted to have. Our desks were all pulled into a circle for this purpose. I couldn't see any purpose to this "discussion" and was in the middle of a good book. The teacher actually KICKED ME OUT of class! I don't know which was worse, being forced to sit on a picnic table during the little kids recess or being out there WITHOUT MY BOOK. Then, we had to walk to the office to CALL MY MOTHER, something I got out of when I started crying - in anger more than contrition. But the teacher thought I was sorry and that's all that counted. I still want to track that woman down and ask her about THAT. Kicking a kid out of class for reading - PUHleeeeze. What was this, some 1960s touchy-feely, ultra-progressive yak-yak curriculum? I was reading a BOOK for gawd's sake. In school.

So THIS instructor replies to my very upbeat and friendly eMail with the admonition that I must wait until the class officially starts and that she "appreciates my enthusiasm" but that "this is a process" I must follow.

HUH? Say WHAT?

It is a BAD thing to want to begin the reading for a doctorate-level class? It is WRONG to want to get started on what appears to be a grip-load of reading WHILE I AM OFF school for the next week?

I am failing to understand this response and my anger has flared. My Pavlovian response is to fire off a really nasty and sarcastic eMail that will just drip down the keyboard. I also want to forward this rather bitchy response to the powers that be at the university, demanding to know why I am PAYING to be treated like a recalcitrant child.

Yes, I could begin reading anywhere, but I want to be efficient. The last batch of books - and there were many - were all good but we only read certain chapters out of them. I want to read for understanding - isn't that the whole point? Can you not read better for understanding when you don't have so much of a time constraint?

I am telling you that I am so pissed off I can hardly stand it. I am having to sit on my hands in order to avoid an uncomfortable 18 weeks with an instructor who somehow thinks reading is BAD and got called to task for it by a student whose grade is at her mercy.

Heaven help me. This is taking more will-power than keeping away from the cage of kittens at the pet store. (Cute ones. Cute PLAYING kittens. Adorable SLEEPING kittens, all curled up.)

I think I will leave the house and go cool down at the BOOK STORE. Ha! Then I will come home, pick one of the books and START READING! HA! Then I will send her a PICTURE of me READING.

Double HA!