Celebrating Hands and Feet

My sister says that it is important to love our bodies. Healthy individuals must look at their bodies and praise what is good about them. In order to be cooperative, I hereby praise.

I like my hands and my feet. My left hand looks a lot younger than my right, although I am pretty sure they were born at the same time. My nails usually grow well and I get a lot of compliments on them.

My hands don't match. The thumbs and middle fingers look like they belong to different people - related, but different. The index fingers are slightly different, much like the ring fingers. Only the pinkies match.

Maybe I absorbed a twin during gestation and ended up with one of her hands. A gestational souvenir, so to speak. When I think of this, it makes me sad. One shouldn't "absorb" one's siblings. It just isn't nice. (This makes a lot of sense since I tend to fall right between democrat and republican.)

My right second toe was broken a few years ago and this makes it a bit crooked although you have to do a real 'toe exam' to figure this out. This toe is smarter than the others because it knows the cold weather. Experts will tell you the broken joint is now susceptible to arthritis but the real reason is that it is just a smarter toe. Some digits are just like this. One must celebrate smart digits.

My fingers have gained weight. Although they are slimmer than they were 40 pounds ago, they are still too pudgy for me to wear my original wedding ring. This ring is a Size 4 and my current ring is a 5. Since I am 30 pounds over my marriage weight, I can see how this can happen. At least a couple ounces are stuck in my ring finger.

I had to have the ring cut off one day a couple years back because it was about to give me gangrene. I was certain of this and insisted that the nice jewelry gal cut the ring off. She didn't want to and said she was pretty sure I didn't have gangrene. I told everybody I had a spider bite that swelled the finger but I lied. I didn't wish to tell people I was too damn fat for my wedding ring anymore.

When I retrieved the ring from the jeweler who cut it off, it was nice and shiny and all welded back together again. I would really like to wear it. Instead, I wear a vintage ring I found online that is very simple and goes with another ring Dan bought for me years ago. It looks like a wedding set but again, I lie to the world.

This year I will buy toe rings and ankle bracelets to celebrate my feet. I am also considering microdermabrasion for my "older" looking hand. This way it will look as smooth and lovely as my "younger" hand.

I hope my absorbed twin won't mind.