The Ointment Flies

It's tough to decide who to vote for on Tuesday because each of the candidates have flies in their respective ointments. It's hard to see the ointment for all that fly.

Obama: It rhymes with 'Osama,' 'llama,' and 'Not Your Momma.' "Barak" sounds like something you do after a good meal. How do you keep a straight face with a name like that?

Hillary: Her voice grates on my last nerve. If she were president she would be talking all the time. My nerve would be shot. I would be a wreck.

McCain: He has a trophy wife. He looks ready to drop dead any minute. He also gets this rash on his face that looks angry. Angry rashes upset me. And what happened to the original wife?

Romney: He's from a church that thinks women are second class citizens. There are a lot of women in congress. Will he even TALK to them? Will he ask them to serve coffee during important goverment meetings? This would grate on that last nerve AND upset me.

Huckabee: He tied his dog, in a crate, to the top of the car for a family vacation. He told the media that the dog "loved the wind in his face." At 65 miles per hour? Head ON? He used political pressure and got his son "off" on animal cruelty charges when he hung a stray dog at Boy Scout camp. Apparently mistreating animals is okay with him. Don't serial killers start out that way? That's all we need - rumors of a serial killer in the White House. Any person from the DC area could be a victim. We just can't take that chance. And if he had a "first dog" like all the other presidents, I would worry about it all the time.

Ron Paul: Who IS this guy? He reminds me of Pat Paulson's many runs for the presidency. Pat Paulson never won. That should say something. Ralph Nader doesn't win either. And Ron Paul ain't Ross Perot.

Guiliani: He was a good mayor. He needs to stay that way.

It's hard to get fly wings out of ointment. Your nails get all ointmenty.