Today Doctor Dave's evil assistant called to invite me back in to the surgical center to replace my testicles. It seems the plastic things floating around inside do nothing for the aesthetics of these instruments of torture and Doctor Dave simply will NOT have me going around looking like that.
I dressed for the occasion, including underwear and a sports bra. Lacking a decent place to properly pin the balls to my clothing, I gave up and inserted one on each side of the bra - where the bra's "cups" would be if I had breasts. Since the balls are deflated due to this giant suction thing they are performing, the effect was a like oversized and inverted nipples.
For some reason, this made my appearance rather humerous. The office staff frantically grasped their collective sides and appeared to wet their collective thongs. The Evil Assistant then took a series of pictures reminiscent of the good Doctor's "before" and "after" shots that document his careful work.
She is of the opinion that Doctor Dave will either become very annoyed with her for using his camera on "breast work" he did not perform, or he will wet his drawers.
Since I get to see the good Doctor tomorrow for a tube change and a bandage-check, I think it would be decent of me to bring a gift. But I am at a loss: Tighty-wighties or Scooby Doo boxers?
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About Me
- Kimberli Lengning
- "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." ~Groucho Marx... I am a teacher, writer, hiker, budding photographer, and ecologist. I am always searching for that small and teachable moment.
2 comments:
How's it going? Feeling better, less sore? Post soon so we can catch up with ther latest stage of your recovery :o)
Soon it will all be over. . . and you can laugh about it. (Remind me to never get it done -- "ft is beautiful!")
I also left comments on three posts below. I am finally catching up.
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