First Annual 'I Hate Electronics' Day

This day began like any other. And then....

1. My cat Otis got very ill this morning and I had to rush him to the vet. Went online to ensure the catfood we bought in good faith was still not on the recall list. Fancy Feast is okey dokey. Otis is hiding under the bed. He is caterwauling in pain and is reluctant to get into his cat carrier. I have to move the night stands out of the way and remove the mattress and box springs out of the way in order to retrieve this very distressed cat. Did the designer of these cat carriers actually ever get a cat INTO one? No idea.

2. On the way to the vet, cell phone wouldn't turn on, despite being fully charged yesterday. Completely dead. Stupid cell phone. Otis is caterwauling in the back seat.

3. Returned home to go online to retrieve student midterms and some other stuff I wanted to do. No internet service. This is annoying. I have places to go and things to see on the internet. No internet service. Turn off computer, disconnect the wiring, wait 15 seconds, reconnect the wiring, turn on the computer. No internet service.

3.a. Call stupid cable company and go through the hoops with some gal who acted as if I disturbed her Free Cell game. She concludes, after 35 minutes, that the problem is with Norton Internet Security and to call them. I ask why Norton would be messing with me after I paid them all this money to protect me from bad internet things. She has no idea.

3.b. Spend the next 50 minutes on the phone with some dude in India who puts me through the paces drop-kicking Norton and trying to find the problem. Concludes the problem in is NOT Norton and to stupid cable company back. I ask him why the gal at the cable company would tell me the problem was with Norton when obviously it wasn't. Was she guessing? He has no idea.

4. Call Stupid Cable Company and go through Phone He11, only to get a recorded message telling me that "my area" is experiencing internet problems but not to worry cuz they are ON IT so "hang up." They also apologized for inconvenience. Inconvenience? I lose 90 minutes on a precious day off and they call that an INCONVENIENCE? Obviously they have no idea.

5. Decide to go upstairs and watch DVD from Netflix. Looking forward to this, in fact. Cannot get TV/DVD player to talk to each other. D cannot get DVD/TV set to talk to one another. Can't watch movie. It has worked before. Why won't it work now? No idea.

6. Go run errands and discover Shell gasoline card is expired. No new cards received. Call Shell and go through Phone He11 only to discover that no real live person is there anyway and must call back tomorrow. Why would Shell forget to send me cards? I have been with them for 20 years and always pay my bill - sometimes in advance! Nobody can tell me anything but my guess is they would have no idea.

7. Find out that trusty HP Printer is being replaced by newfangled huge-looking copier/fax/photo printer/dishwasher/telescope thingy that skeers the he11 outta me. Can't print anything cuz I know I will hit the wrong button. There are so many. I was perfectly happy with the trusty HP Printer. But Dan loves gadgetry and thinks this is a terrific Mother's Day gift. You get the idea.

8. Call to find out Otis has run up a $1000 vet bill with a stupid pancreas infection. Leave it to Otis. Just wish he'd eaten the cell phone, peed on the DVD player, and buried the new printer thingy. Why is Otis so sick, I ask. What happened to my kitty? They're running more tests, the office gal assures me. She really has no idea.